You’ve just had a baby but will your relationship ever be the same again?
For many couples, it can be hard to keep the flame of romance alive after several years of marriage. After all, juggling work, family and a healthy relationship with your partner takes a lot of effort… and when you add a baby into the mix, it can get that much more challenging!
To have a baby is a blessing and often it brings a couple even closer together but at times, it can test your relationship too. Still, having a baby doesn’t mean that you’ll have to kiss romance goodbye and drown in a sea of diapers and drool. Although the arrival of your little one means that you will have to shift around your schedule to accommodate his needs, this doesn’t have to come at the price of spending some quality time with your spouse. Here are some tips to help you keep that fire burning despite the challenges of having a newborn.
Turn off technology
Face it, we’ve all become far too dependent (and addicted) to technology. When you’re trying to carve out romantic time as a couple, it pays to switch off distractions like your phone, tablet, television and laptop. Even though it may be just be for an hour or two, use this time to enjoy each other’s company. For example, you could snuggle up and watch television together while baby is asleep.
As individuals, the both of you may have different views about things, including what’s best for baby. However, it’s also important to find common ground whenever there are contradicting views or opinions. As a couple, you should stay united instead of battling each other as this will definitely get in the way of intimacy and romance. It is important to be more tolerant, patient and perhaps put yourself in your partner’s shoes to try and understand the situation. Be sure to stay calm and discuss every decision for a happy, harmonious relationship.
Get away for a short while
Does this sound familiar? You’ve both had an exhausting day and before you know it, you’re fast asleep and the scene repeats itself throughout the week. For most new parents, romantic vacations go the way of the Dodo – they’re extinct! However, don’t give up. When a little time together while baby’s asleep is simply not enough, plan to go away for a night or two. Find someone dependable to look after your baby while you’re gone. You can ask your parents, in laws, siblings or best friend if they are willing to look after baby for a few days. If you don’t like the idea of leaving town, try a “staycation” and book a romantic getaway at a hotel that’s not far from home.
Have couple time
If you can’t go away try having regular date nights. This is a great opportunity for you and your spouse to rekindle the flames of romance. Date nights are a growing positive trend among couples they promote communication and work as a stress reliever too. You should ake an effort to have a date night at least once a week. A study by The Foundation of Marital Generosity shows that couples who do this tend to enjoy higher-quality relationships than those who don’t.
Don’t lose touch
When was the last time you and your partner shared a gesture of love? For example, if you used to hold hands while walking in the mall or if you enjoyed sharing a bowl of ice cream together, make sure you don’t drop these habits. Simple gestures like these can keep the romantic fires burning bright.
Keep the spark alive
When you welcome a baby into your household, you’ll inevitably need to make some adjustments to your lifestyle but just like everything else, this doesn’t mean that you should sacrifice the intimacy that you once enjoyed together. A healthy relationship includes a healthy sex life, so be sure to allocate time for each other. You could always give your partner a little surprise, try a new position or even get intimate during the day while baby is asleep as you might be too tired by nightfall.
Expect ups and downs
It’s important for you to recognize that there will be ups and downs in every relationship. At times, you may not be on the same page as your partner. At times, stress and lack of sleep can make you short-tempered but when a problem or argument occurs, you and your partner must address it when things have cooled down. It’s important not to ‘sweep things under the carpet’, as that would only make the problem worse. After all, a healthy relationship is all about communication and this helps to eliminate negative factors such as stress which will also influence your parenting methods at the end of the day.
Communication, understanding, commitment and of course marital satisfaction are crucial ingredients for a healthy marriage. So no matter how busy or tired you are, make time for each other and you’ll enjoy a healthy, happy relationship.